Well hello, blog. How are you? I haven't seen you for a while.
Yesterday I had an exciting moment. I picked up the mail. Oh, the possibilities. What will be in there today? And I hadn't done it for a few days, so there was a stack of mail.
I brought it in the house and piled it on our bed. Chuck was sitting next to the bed playing video games and supervised as Miriam and I sorted through the pile. So many pictures of food for Miriam to point out! I was excited because I had seen a small brown padded envelope with my mom's writing on it. As I pulled it out of the pile, my fingers could feel a round shape inside the envelope.
Aha! The soup lid. A while ago after my mom had been sick, I took them some soup in one of those round reusable containers. I went to visit last Sunday, and Mom said, "What do I have to give to you?" as I was leaving. The soup container! But she couldn't find the lid. I said, "that's okay, maybe we have a spare lid at home." We always have lids with no containers and containers with no lids. So I went home, and yesterday the lid appeared in the mail.
This week I am helping with our ward roadshow and on Wednesday we had a dress rehearsal. I was so wound up afterwards I couldn't sleep that night, and so I had a big nap yesterday. Then when it was time to go to sleep last night, I was laying awake in bed. Ever since I was little, sometimes late at night when I try to go to sleep the anxiety level is too high. If I close my eyes the world gets huge and dark and I feel disoriented. If I open my eyes everything comes into focus and gets small again. That happened last night. I felt so nervous but was so tired, and everytime I closed my eyes I would feel that huge swooping anxiety.
So I thought, maybe I should get back up. Hot chocolate. Novel. So I reached over to my bedside table for my glasses, and my hand rested on a round shape. The soup lid. All of a sudden I smiled. Mom sent me the soup lid in a brown envelope in the mail! I smiled. And all of a sudden felt better. In the light from my clock I looked at the round lid. After a while I was able to go to sleep.
13 years ago
2 comments:
I've had so many nights of being anxious and overwhelmed and not being able to sleep...even when my newborn is sleeping. You said it just the way it happens...I close my eyes...more anxiety. I always try to get up without Dan knowing because it will give hime anxiety too. I loved how the simpliist thing solved it for you. Sometimes that is the only thing that helps bring you back down to earth. Ruth, you have been an angel to me and I can not thank you enough for the efforts and time you have put into the Road Show...it would not have been the show it is with out you! We Love You and your family so much! Hope you will be able to sleep tonight. lol
Just last night I couldn't sleep either. I'm glad the lip helped you! Grandma is so sweet.
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